Memories

If you look through some of my previous posts, you will see that I do not remember much from my childhood. I remember the teachers but not anything specific from their classroom. As I was growing up I don’t think I had a problem learning to read and the only reason I say that is because I have no specific memories about needing extra assistance. I was good at blending in... I was never a behavior problem, I did all my work, and I was so shy that you would never hear me talk. Honestly, if I needed help no one would have known. Thinking back, I don't even know if my school had a library. I'm sure we did but I can't recall where it was located or if we went to it.

My first memory of a read aloud was with my fifth-grade teacher. During October we would combine with another classroom then open the blinds, turn out all the lights and she would read us a book that had "scary stories" in it. I loved it. We were so engaged that when a person would open the classroom door we (including the teacher) would scream. These few minutes each day was a great break from schoolwork and a great escape from the real world. 

Moving into middle school, I remember summer reading lists. I never read more than I had to, and it would sometimes take me the entire summer to become motivated to read but when I did I loved it. I don’t think I have read a book that I haven’t liked. During the school year, I became a pro at using cliff notes to get away with not reading. Reading wasn’t a priority for me or my family. My parents never read unless they needed to, and I could get away with not doing it, so I never did. I have read more children’s books and novels during my time as graduate student than I ever did growing up.

I have struggled with many graduate assignments due to not remembering my past. I really do not have any memories until middle school. This has been hard to pick out important teachers, lessons, and books but it has made me think about my role in the classroom. There is most likely a child that is going through the same things I did if not worse and I can be the one to help create those lasting memories for these students. 

I remember reading a few books when I got into Eighth Grade. Enders Game by Orson Scott Card, The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank, and Night by Elie Wiesel. I have written about this teacher before, but this was an interesting year for me. I had just moved not only to a new school but new school district, so everything was very different and lonely. It is hard to make friends when you don't speak and that makes group projects horrible. I loved reading Enders Game during the summer but was then disappointed when nothing came from that when school started. The Diary of a Young Girl is always a classic and I did enjoy a group project where I oversaw making the script for my group. I never ended up reading Night. This was assigned as "silent reading" in class and I always had a hard time concentrating with all the commotion that was constantly happening in the room. This was also during the time that my teacher put a note on an essay I worked hard on that said, " you had no heart when writing this".  Once I read that comment I did the minimum to get by and was not motivated to do anything extra for this teacher. 

BHH

Book:

In A Tale Dark and Grimm there is a narrator who is telling the story. The narrator talks to the reader throughout the book informing and warning us about what happened and what is about to come. The story is the true story of Hansel and Gretel. The book begins with the story of their father and his faithful servant. The servant had served this family for many generations and had "under-stood" them. He went above and beyond to keep them safe to the point of turning to stone for what the kingdom thought was treason. After they realized he was protecting the king and queen they brought him back to life by sacrificing their own children. These children (Hansel and Gretel) were brought back to life but were so afraid of their father that they ran away. The story follows Hansel and Gretel as they ran away and then make their way back to the castle fighting evil along the way. 

The author warns us the entire time that this is the true story of Hansel and Gretel and it's not the fairy tale that we have edited down for children these days. He wants us to know that the true story is dark and bloody. 

Head:

The author expected us to know the fairy tale version of Hansel and Gretel. The book was a lot darker than I had realized. As the chapters continued I thought to myself, "this can't get much worse" but it did. I think the most surprising chapter was “a smile as red as blood". This chapter was about a man who was infatuated with young girls. He would play with them and then eventually lure them into the woods alone where he would chop them up and eat them and trap their soul in cages (embodied in a white dove). I was very surprised that there was a chapter like this in a children's novel. All the red flags started going off as Gretel became more and more bewitched by this young man and wanted to be alone with him. I guess it does strengthen the point of stranger danger but not in a way I would have imagined. 

As I was studying for another class I made a connection with the story that would add a cool back story if it was true. Hansel and Gretel's mother is extremely obsessed with gold. To the point of accepting being kidnapped by the King because he had gold for her. This made me wonder if possibly she was the daughter of King Midas. 

Heart:

This book helped me realize that as a reader I enjoy mystery and gory stories. When I was reading I loved predicting where the story was going and what would happen next. I also realize that I can get annoyed with a book. When a character makes wrong decision after wrong decision, I can start to get frustrated. Luckily by the end the characters began realizing there mistakes and fixing their wrongs allowing for some relief. 

I also realized that trying to shield our students from dark and gory stories and "fluffing" everything up can be a big disservice to our kids. Teaching them everything always has a happy ending and everything always turns out fine sets them up to be shocked when life isn't always that way. 

Reading and Writing Reflection

How would you describe the best reading experience you could possibly have?

- To have my best reading experience I need to be away from home. At home I end up falling asleep or doing something to distract myself or avoid reading (such as watching TV, playing on my phone or cleaning). I tend to read very well on long road trips. When everyone starts to quiet down and listen to their own headphones, I can pull out my book and get lost. I am not worried about a time limit or something else I can do with my time,  I can just read. 

How would you describe your very best writing experiences?

- My best writing experiences happen when I have nothing else to do at the moment. I cannot multi-task when I need to write. This even included working on these blogs. I have to be able to have a decent block of time where I know I do not have to stop and get up to do anything. I like to be alone or with other people quiet in the room and prefer to be at a desk or in laying in bed if I am journaling.  

How do you set up these things for the best reading or writing time you could possibly have?

• Light- Natural light or all lights on in a room. If I just do a book or head light I tend to fall asleep. 
• Music-  Reading:This depends on what I am reading if it is for fun I  need some background noise on because if it is too quiet I get distracted in my own thoughts. However, it needs to be something I am not interested in or I will also get distracted and start singing, watching or join in on the conversation. If it is a text book or something I really need to focus on I need it completely silent. The TV can be on but it has to be muted, no music, and no conversation or I will reread the same sentence multiple times. Writing: I am not as picky when it comes to writing. As long as I know what direction I want to go with my writing, it usually doesn't matter if there is noise or not in the background. 
• Body Position-Reading: I need to be sitting up like at a desk/table, or in a car, or curled up on the couch. If I lay down I soon become distracted.  Writing: If I am doing something like journaling I can usually be in any position but to do my best homework I need to be sitting up at a desk or table. 
• Food and/or Drink- Doesn't usually affect me. 
• Wiggling or being still- I have to be still but If I am in a rolly chair I tend to swing from side to side.
• Nearness of other people- Other people usually do not bother me as long as they are still and quiet. I prefer to be alone when writing and have only a few people near when reading but if they are talking or moving I easily get irritated and cannot concentrate on what I am doing. This was a big problem for me in school. Still today in professional developments and classes when teachers ask me to read something quietly I have a hard time doing it due to the other people in the room. If I can get through it it takes me a very long time especially when reading something. 

How long does a writing or reading session need to be for you to get really involved in and get a lot of work done?

-Reading: For reading for pleasure I need just a little than 5-10 minutes in order to be really involved. I can take my book when I am riding with someone in the car and read while going someplace and I can also read during transitions between my groups. As long as I know where I left off in the book and remember what just happened I can jump right back in. If I have to go back and refresh my memory because it's been a while since I read it then it takes me a little longer to get started. If it is a textbook, I need at least a 30 minute time slot in order to read. I know I have to focus more and it takes me longer to get into it so if I don't have that time I avoid it. Writing: For writing it also depends on what I am working on. If it is journaling or a quick write I don't have a set amount of time needed but if it is an assignment I usually will not even try to begin unless I know I have the time to finish it in one sitting. 

What is the best place for you to get lost in reading?

- The best place for me to get lost in reading is a place where I have nothing else distracting me. I remember reading an entire book in a day last year because I went with my fiance when he was helping his brother install a new radio in his truck. I sat on the front step while they worked and just read. It was fantastic. It was a gorgeous day and I had nothing else I needed to do. I could just sit and relax with a book. 

A Slice of Life

I have to wear many hats at work. I am part of the leadership team, hold many trainings, create and run assessments, in charge of district assessments on campus, gather materials and pull groups for tutorials and Saturday school, and coach teachers. But my main job is to be an interventionist and work with about 50 students a day. I was reminded of this today not by my school principal or district supervisor but by one of my kindergarten students.

When my students first start coming to me I let them know that I will come and get them at the same time every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. This week in particular I was helping a new teacher on campus complete some district testing so I was unable to pick up my kinder group. I pass by A as he is with his class taking a restroom break...

"Ms.. Derrick are you coming to get us today?" -A

"No sorry A, I have to help Mrs. W test her students."

"But Ms. Derrick you said you were going to come get us every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday."

"I know A. I'm sorry buddy, I'll come get y 'all again as soon as I can. I have to finish helping them test."

"But Ms. Derrick it's Monday. You said you will get us every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday."

"I know A, hopefully I can come get you again tomorrow."

"But Ms. Derrick you said you will get us every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and it's Monday so you need to get us."

My kinder student was holding me accountable. He not only made me feel good about him wanting to come work with me but also reminded me about why I was really there. It may take a little longer but I could find time to test those students that doesn't conflict with my groups. A was very excited when I found time later today to pick him and his group up. Of course then I got...

"Ms. Derrick you didn't get us after lunch, you're suppose to get us right after lunch."

I don't think I'll be missing A's group time anymore...